"Not there yet, but im growing"

while on the computer i turned the tv on, flipped through the channels. nothing. Put on the Cosby Show just because, not knowing it would teach me a very valuable lesson. Usually when im on the computer and the tv is on i ignore whatever is on, however something caught my ear during the episode. Theo the son of Bill Cosby announced to his family that he just got a job at the local community center as an after school tutor or instructor. When i heard this i immediately decided to tune in. i had no idea how closely the episode would relate to my job and what its like. In the episode Theo had to deal with a dislexic kid who refused to admit that he was, a kid who had to quit the program to work because his father lost his job, and a girl who takes food from the community center to feed her family. Although these situations arent the exact ones i face at my work, but the way Theo felt sometimes helpless i could defintely understand.

Instead of kids that take food and kids that are dislexic, i have to deal with kids who are gonna be lost to gang activity, kids with no positive role model or discipline in their life causing them to have no respect for those in charge. Those who dont even care about going to school in the future and just have the "whatever" attitude when asked "what do you want to do when you get older?" , several lower income students, and those that hate to be pushed into school work and improving. All in all its a massively stressful trying to be a positive influence and trying to change these kids' attitudes and certain ways of life. Im not saying all the kids have these problems and its a hell hole, but there are a good amount especially with my group of kids which are the 5th graders. the oldest, most confusing, disruptive, yet most fun of all.

Anyways the way Theo tried to solve these problems with his kids were pretty smart and of course scripted with every plan working and getting the kids on track. However to make the episode more "realistic" he couldnt help the kid who had to quit the program to work and the kid eventually left. The conversation between a teacher and Theo is where the real lesson is taught in that you cant always help everyone and change their lives, there will be some who you just cant get through and they will continue to live how they live, but as long as you know that you tried your best to help them out than thats all you can ask for.
Now something so simple as that i guess i never realized till now, because ive been so overwhelmed with trying to change lives and be a hero when in all honesty you cant do that. I only have about 4 hours with them a day when the rest of the time they are surrounded by bad influences or none at all, and with this year going the way it is, changing all the troubled kids is somewhat impossible. However all i know is that i cant let it get me down and i just have to continue to be the best role model i can for these kids and hopefully get through to some of them.